Why Honesty Leads to Success and Happiness in Life – 3
edited Nov. 22, 2007
(”Whenever one speaks, trustworthiness（xin 信）comes first; lying and pretending to know, how can one do such things? 凡出言，信為先；詐與妄，奚可焉。” Di Zi Gui, p.20 )
Some people ask, you keep talking about honesty leading to success and happiness, but don’t you get fleeced and stabbed in the back if you are too honest? Ah yes! Isn’t the honest person the one who is poor? Doesn’t it take some deviousness, if not outright deceit, to become rich and successful?
No, no, being honest doesn’t mean that one will get fleeced. Being honest doesn’t mean one doesn’t perform due diligence and checking things out before one buys something. And how does one check things out? It’s easy in countries with a free market: you just go out and do some shopping around! Get some bids! There’s an old Chinese saying: not to fear that you do not know the merchandise, just compare merchandise with merchandise (不怕不識貨，只要貨比貨). Once you do some comparison shopping, you will know whether something is worth it or not.
And being honest doesn’t mean you tell everyone in the world your trade secrets and your weaknesses. Being honest means you don’t lie to people, but doesn’t mean you can’t keep secrets. How can a person be trustworthy if he can’t even safeguard some secrets? So, what do you do when someone asks you about something you don’t want to tell them and still be honest with them? Simple, be honest, and tell them, “Sorry, but that’s confidential.” Or, “Sorry, but I can’t tell you.” Just be honest and tell them the truth; don’t be afraid that will offend them, but be sure to be polite and apologize; people will respect you for your honesty even if they are miffed at your refusal. At least you have been polite and you have apologized! They surely should understand, and if they are so mean-minded that they take offense, they are probably not upright people anyways and therefore not worthwhile dealing with. There’s no need to be “devious,” nor is there need to be deceitful and lie. In a country where people rely on the free market, such honesty is valued as a sign of reliability, as a sign that the person is “good to deal with.”