Why should we translate xiao as "being good to parents" and not the prevailing "filial piety" or the less common "being a dutiful son"? Here are two pieces explaining why:
Some people ask me why I translate xiao into English as "being good to parents" rather than the prevalent translation of "filial piety". That's because "filial piety" is open to cultish interpretation.
What cultish interpretation? Well, around 1000 C.E., an intellectual movement came into dominance in China, and some people in that intellectual movement added some tendencies toward absolutes, excesses, metaphysics and cultish thinking onto Confucianism, originally a set of reasonable and practical tenets.
When it came to xiao some people with this mode of thinking advocated a sort of god-like worship of one's living parents, a self-deprecating all-pervasive guilt feeling, constant self-punishment as a form of "offering" and piety, excessive emphasis on obedience and prostration, excessive grieving to the point of quitting all duty and staying night and day next to the parent's grave for a full three years, and so forth and so on.
It was precisely when this mode of thinking was at its zenith, during the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644), that the Jesuit missionaries working at the Emperor's court coined "filial piety" as the term for xiao.
As advocated by the authoritative Confucian classic Xiao Jing, I think that xiao should mostly be a normal day-to-day activity of being good to parents and acting in their fundamental interests. No god-like worship of one's living parents is needed, no self-deprecating all-pervasive guilt feeling is called for, and no extraordinarily painful, self-punishing, excruciating exertion or sacrifice need be involved, except under certain special circumstances. Instead of a subjective state of mind, a "piety", I think xiao is more of an objective state, i.e. a way of conduct, indeed a whole way of living one's life.
Thus I think it is more accurate to translate xiao as "being good to parents" than as "filial piety".
People ask me why I translate xiao as being good to parents and not being dutiful to parents or being dutiful as a son or daughter. It's because xiao is more than just duty; it is a whole way of living one's life. Xiao Jing, the first and most authoritative Confucian work on xiao, says that the xiao of people occupying various positions in society, such as emperors, ministers, officers, commoners, and so forth, is to be good at their callings. Xiao Jing also says that to be xiao, one must not only serve and provide for one's parents well, but must also engage in good conduct both inside and outside the family.
Also, being dutiful often conjures up grim-faced carrying out of some painful task or of some sort of sacrifice, but xiao also includes the normal day-to-day life, the normal day-to-day interactions with parents, some of which may be joyful, like playing and not drudgery. One example is keeping parents up-to-date on one's activities and situation, which is one of the demands of xiao (see verse 12, p.7 Xiao Jing : often truly xiao offspring have such a good relationship with the parents that updating them means enjoyable and relaxing conversation that all parties look forward to. Another example is respectfully listening when parents teach: offspring should have a relation with parents healthy enough that offspring realize the teaching from parents are greatly beneficial and something to look forward to. Teaching by parents can be fun and enjoyable: I remember well myself looking forward to and greatly enjoying the Sunday afternoon teaching of Chinese classics by my father to my brothers and me as young children.
Therefore, I feel xiao is better translated as "being good to parents".
